Going through divorce or legal separation is challenging. If you have recently separated from your partner, chances are that you have no idea how often you will be able to see your children and how much time you can spend with them. You need to set new boundaries, gain stability and clearly define co‑parenting responsibilities.
To be able to negotiate an optimum parenting agreement, first you need to find out what is best for you and your children in the long term. It is a common mistake to jump to conclusions about what you want or can provide before you have all the information.
Many times your favorite option on day 1 is not the best option when you get to know all the details of your preferred custody schedule, realize the actual costs of raising your children, and explore all available divorce options.
It can take months, sometimes even years, to get a divorce and reach a fair child custody agreement. Divorcing parents who do not systematically document their parenting efforts and do not regularly collect and organize evidence will inevitably face the negative consequences of doing so.
You can use traditional tools to capture all important facts and figures, for example: use a regular calendar to track visitations and calls, keep a spreadsheet file with all significant expenses.
If you choose to use Alimentor to record your parenting activities, you will enjoy the benefits of using a dedicated tool, optimized to help parents going through divorce to keep written documentation.
Every few weeks, read what you have collected and decide if there are any irrelevant records that you need to delete. Check that your notes contain all important facts and can be understood by others who are not directly involved in your divorce case such as a mediator, lawyer or judge.Learn how to collect documentation in child custody cases ▶
Build a support team that can include your family, friends, divorce mediator, attorney, etc.
When asking for advice, use Alimentor to explain your situation and refer to specific events and documents.
You can share your Alimentor records with others in three ways:
Sharing detailed information about parenting activities with the other parent regularly is always the best practice. It may encourage a more co‑operative approach.
Ask the other parent to install Alimentor and then share your records with him or her, or regularly send reports in PDF format.
Routine and repetition is a good way to create a sense of safety. Even if the larger stuff seems hard to pin down at the beginning of your divorce process, try to agree on how you can temporarily divide parenting time and the costs of raising your children using the information you have collected so far.
Start by scheduling visits for the next few weeks. You do not need to create recurring events at this point if you think it is not yet possible to follow a fully regular schedule.
Do research on available options in divorce proceedings. There are many process options, including mediation, collaborative law and litigation. Learn about all of them, then choose the path that is going to work best for you.
Read Alimentor usage tips to learn how to effectively use the application right from the start.